There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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