Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
