i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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