This is not my ceiling
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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