I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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