and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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