We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
