whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
