when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
