Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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