no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
