her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
