Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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