Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you would pick up someone in the library
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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