As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
