My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
