Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
