Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
