I love black thongs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
