we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just made my gag reflex go away.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
