We're facebook friends in real life
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
organizing the empties. That sober.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
