you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
