$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
