How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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