This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
