come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i've created a new STD.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
