Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
