so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
