I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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