i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
