Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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