trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
