Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
