he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
