As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
