Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
