We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
