My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize