I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
