the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
