Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
