Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize