if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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