im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
