please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
