And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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