very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
