There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
