I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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