I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
