Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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