I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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