I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize