dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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