genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize