I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
