ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
