is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize