i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
