i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
