We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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