fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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