It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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