Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
