Kiss
Puke
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
